Sharing Your Story: 10 Ways to Engage Older Adults by Revisiting Memories

A gently guided walk down memory lane is a meaningful way to engage and connect with older adults, no matter their cognitive abilities. These ten simple and fun activities can be shared with your loved one or client in person or virtually. They were created by Activity Specialists at The Hummingbird Project specifically to re-engage older adults and to create moments of joy and connection. Whether you’re a professional or a family caregiver, remember to begin the activities as partners, sharing the experience together. 

1.  Count Treasured Moments

Tracing hands is a fun way to remember our days as a child in elementary school or when our kids or grandkids were young. It’s also a unique way to help loved ones hold on to special memories—pun intended!

Start by inviting your activity partner to place their hands on a large piece of paper. Once placed, begin to trace their hands. If you want to get fancy, ask what color fingernails they want. Then, encourage your activity partner to name the ten things they treasure most. Write one treasure on each finger of their hand tracing. 

Display the finished design in a visible area where those valuable memories can be seen and revisited frequently. This can also be a fun intergenerational activity for parties and family gatherings with any activity partner, young and old alike!

2.  Bring Back Letter Writing 

How can emotional quality of life be supported when verbal communication and in-person connections are challenged due to isolation? Hand-written letters offer additional comfort, especially when including a photo promoting familiarity. The Hummingbird Project is bringing letter writing back and showing its clients how.

Sit down with your activity partner at a table with stationery and a pen. Consider colorful stationery or note cards with a lovely design. Reminisce about letters you have sent or received that were meaningful to you over the years. These questions may prompt some memories:

• Do you love the stamps from near and far? 
• Have you kept letters or postcards written to you over the years? 
• When you traveled for vacation, did you search for the best postcards to send to your family?
• Do you enjoy receiving mail? What does it mean to you? 

After warming up some recollections, begin the actual letter-writing activity. Choose someone to write to. Engage your activity partner in a discussion about the person s/he selects the significance of the recipient to them. As needed, help your activity partner write the letter.  Then, read the letter before adding a stamp and sending it in the mail.

3.  Maintain Memories with Music

A story from one of our Hummingbird Activity Specialists and their client, Fred, showcases how music can stimulate memories. 

Fred loved dancing with his wife; they loved musicians such as Glen Miller, Tommy Dorsey, and Harry James from the 1940s. After his wife passed and he moved into an assisted living facility, a Hummingbird Activity Specialist set him up with an iPad. Together, they picked out music he enjoys on Spotify so that he can listen whenever he pleases—treasured musical memories at his fingertips! 

Ask your activity partner about the music genres or musicians that have moved them over the year, and create a playlist using a free app like Spotify to play when you’re together—or even when you’re not if your partner has access to a smartphone or pad where they can access the app.

4.  Remember Family Pets

This activity provides reminiscing as clients share stories regarding family pets of yesterday. Also, because animals take on a child-like presence, clients can continue to demonstrate feelings of nurture as they speak to them in loving tones, just like in person! 

The Hummingbird Project is dedicated to promoting quality of life with simple moments of connection like this, and we’ve found that animals bring out the best in everyone involved. 

5.  Sharing Your Story with the Good Stuff – Your Mementos 

Sharing cherished items from our past is a great way to open up and connect. Ask your activity partner what items they are most proud of around the house and why. 

In a virtual activity session, one of our Hummingbird Activity Specialists engaged with a client over Zoom while she tried on bracelets from her jewelry box. Modeling each piece of jewelry, she described special times reminiscent of who she was, what she experienced, and the people she loved. Sharing stories from her history brought self-esteem and the ability to express her intimate thoughts and emotions. 

Ask your activity partner if you can share something special from your house to bring two-way enthusiasm to the activity session. As in the example above, this can be done in person or virtually with a client’s jewelry box. Cherished memories are happy memories, especially when you share them with another person!

6.  Share Positive Traits

Another activity you can do meaningfully in a virtual session or in person focuses on positive traits. Please share with your activity partner the positive characteristics you notice and appreciate about them. Your observations, expressed in words, effectively celebrate who that person is and what they CAN do.

For older adults feeling isolated, recognition of their strengths is helpful. Remind them of their beautiful characteristics and share stories of how they positively affect the world. 

Please make a list to create a written reminder of all the beautiful qualities they possess. Coach your loved one or client to keep the list handy for a simple reminder of what they bring to the table. Encouraging generations that are unfamiliar with tooting their own horn is… freeing!!!

7.  Visit Memory Lane with the Senses

Using our sense memories is a great way to stimulate cognition and delightful conversation. Talk to your activity partner about past experiences, guiding the conversation by each of the five senses. For example, what was your favorite sound in your childhood home? Was it the tick of a particular clock? The sound of the garage door signaling Mom coming home? The chimes by the back door? 

Or what was your favorite thing to see when we drove home from LA after family visits? Seeing the Madonna Inn sign on the highway when we were just about home? It was so brightly colored. Wasn’t that old ball our dog loved so much bright yellow? You couldn’t get her to part with it!

Think of the conversation as a greatest hits list of the senses: your favorite sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and things to touch.  Go through each reason to recall a special memory and stay with it for a moment. Enjoy it together. Try to experience each fully, attempt to taste again, see, feel, hear, and smell within each memory. You are sure to spark memories and laughter!

8.  Remember Family

Inviting your activity partner to draw or paint a picture of a family member can give assurance that everything will be okay. This can be done virtually using Facetime or Zoom while promoting using crayons, paints, or even pens and pencils. Describing a member of their family you are familiar with can usher in motivation and inspire your client to use their creativity. 

Make sure you draw a family member for them to observe, as this will promote camaraderie and a feeling of closeness. Ask your client to write the loved one’s name at the bottom and one word that describes their personality. Demonstrate your enthusiasm by asking them to hang it up on the refrigerator or wall and share how meaningful it was to do this activity together!

 

9.  Ignite Meaningful Memories with Art Observation

Art can help bring people out of their shells and free them to communicate thoughts from their personal experiences. One of our Hummingbird Activity specialists engaged a participant in a group session by showing the painting The Hunters in the Snow by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. 

The Activity Specialist then asked the group if they had been ice skating. One client, Jack, proudly stood in the back and raised his hand high. “I used to ice skate, but I also used to make ice for skating. I did it for four years, in the wintertime.” He explained how he used a fire hose with “three men in the back.” They would turn a city block into an ice rink in “St. Jo, Michigan.” Touching this unique memory and connection for Jack brought him to his feet, lifting him emotionally and spiritually.

10.  Take in the Outdoors

With the beautiful fall weather upon us, grab a scarf and a blanket and invite your activity partner to find a nice, quiet place to connect with nature. This could be a nearby park, your backyard, a walking trail, a lake, or even the beach. As you are surrounded by nature, be mindful of what you hear, smell, see, and feel. 

Take a few minutes to enjoy the beauty. After you have spent several minutes outdoors, discuss with your activity partner how you feel. Do you feel relaxed? Does being in this setting bring back any memories from your past?  You can also explore the sounds of birds in the trees or the textures of leaves, rocks, sand, or pinecones. Relax and enjoy the many gifts of nature and each other’s company. 

If you are interested in learning more about how Hummingbird Project Activity Specialists can help you with ideas about engaging a client or loved one, please get in touch with us at hummingbird@sageeldercare.com.  If you want to share ideas on ways to trigger memories for older adults, please email us or put them in the comments.

About the Author

Kari Rogenski, LMFT, is the Director of The Hummingbird Project, a concierge in-person and virtual therapeutic activity program. Kari is a licensed psychotherapist and clinical supervisor. She is pursuing her Ph.D. in Humanistic Psychology at Saybrook University, where she studies creativity and gerontology. Follow Kari on Linkedin.